Dying, Dying, Dying.

I. Feel. Like shit. It started last night. Stomach pain, mostly, but that's pretty normal for me. Then today, I woke up early to go with my mom to take Tami to the school; she left for Europe today. After that, my mother and I went to San Francisco, where the weather was fucking amazing, but I started feeling even worse. By the time we were leaving Gilroy, I felt terrible. It was at its worst when we got home, and I felt so miserable that I wanted to cry. So tomorrow, whether I like it or not, I'm going to the doctor.

Seriously, something has to be wrong with me. My daily health regimine goes something like this:

MORNING: 1 capsule of wild yam root, 1 capsule of peppermint leaf, 1 or 2 probiotics (7 or 14 billion CFUs respectively), two or three glasses of water, breakfast.

AFTERNOON: Lunch with 1 or 2 digestive enzymes, two or three glasses of water, one cup of peppermint tea.

NIGHT: Dinner, three or four glasses of water (usually one with the juice of half a lemon), 2 triphala capsules, 10-20 minutes of yoga.

You'd think with all of that my stomach would be a lot less fucked up, right? I'm doing everything every fucking health professional has ever published on the web and then some. I'm going above and beyond what the average American does for their health and I'm stuck feeling like shit. It's quite unfair.

I need that cleanse. ASAP.

SXR

All-nighter

I didn't get home from the world's most intense night until after 3 in the morning. It's currently almost 6:30 and I have yet to sleep. I tried around 5, but things keep hindering me. I don't think people understand just how much my life sucks thanks to my digestive system. Granted, I hadn't eaten in about 14 hours, but the amount of grumbling my stomach started doing around 5:45 was absurd. Eating a banana seems to have helped, but I'm still belching like crazy, as always. The really sad thing is that even if I did see a doctor about everything, there'd probably be nothing they could do. Digestive diseases are probably the least-researched ailments there are, which is a shame, because they really fuck up your life. Having my gallbladder removed was both a blessing and a curse; now that it's gone, I don't get the nausea and indigestion, but I get all kinds of other shit.

Reasons why my digestive system is flaring up:
* Huge fight at The Bel-Tower
* Random bouts of depression, probably related to loneliness and self-esteem
* My car was dented and scratched in the scuffle
* I haven't been able to eat the way I should lately
* I still haven't had the opportunity to cleanse
* I'm out of probiotics and have to rely on kefir, which is amazing but also loaded with sugar
* I'm dying faster than most people my age

I really wish I was asleep right now. It's too early to do anything, including eat, which would probably help a lot right now. Fuck life.

SXR