Coast to Coast

I'm sure there are a number of things I had planned on blogging about and never did. C'est la vie. Shit happens.

It's currently almost one in the morning, I'm bored, I'm awake, and I leave for San Francisco tomorrow at midnight to catch a flight to New York. I'm pretty excited to visit NYC, because I've never really been to the East Coast, aside from a driving trip we took to Tennessee when I was young, and because, hey, who doesn't want to go to New York? It's funny that I've been to places like London and Paris, but never New York. I'm sure the trip will be full of amazing vegan food, annoyance at drunk friends, good times, and an incredible lack of money.

Maybe I'll post a blog while I'm there or when I get back. Don't get your hopes up, though.

SXR

Education in America

I doubt many people are aware of the storm that's been brewing here in Madera, CA, but I can assure you that it's a big one. Recently, MUSD superintendent John Stafford asked for a 9% raise, and the Board of Education voted to give it to him. Meanwhile, teachers are being furloughed and layed off, as are other school employees, schools are in danger of being closed, programs are being cut, as is transportation, and classes are about to get even bigger. As a high school student, I've been very interested in the whole debate, and it's caused me to think a lot about the state of education in Madera, as well as in California and the United States as a whole. While I was thinking about it earlier, something occured to me: education has become startlingly similar to the factory farming industry.

Allow me to explain.

To the district, or even the state, students are like cattle, or, as the saying generally goes, sheep. The schools are nothing but farms, where students are fenced in, fed cheap food, and kept "in line." This is a basic breakdown of how the system works:

• Cram as many sheep, excuse me, students, into a school as possible. Allow class sizes to reach 38-40+ students each and disregard the fact that materials will have to be shared. It doesn't matter, really, because half of these sheep will die, or drop out, in no time, right?
• Herd the sheep through the system as quickly as possible. No need to delve beneath the surface of subjects; it won't be on the benchmark, after all.
• Once the sheep have been in holding for four years, get them out of the farm as soon as possible. As long as they meet the minimum standard and bring in the money Farmer Stafford needs, they can be shipped out to a bigger farm (namely college), or sent out into the world to wander around unprepared (but that's of little consequence, really).
• Bring in the next truckload and cut costs accordingly. If the last bunch was good enough to go to auction, these ones will be too, but there's nothing wrong with cutting corners a bit to keep things simple. Extra-curricular activities aren't important; sheep are stupid anyway.

It sounds much better in my head, but you get the analogy. Get them in, make sure they meet the minimum requirements with as little cost to the district as possible, ship them out. I'm not a fan of factory farming, so it goes without saying that I think factory education is fucking disgusting. Dixieland Elementary is being closed down and 120 positions are being eliminated, and this is only the beginning. When a district is allowed to spend money on anything other than education, something is clearly wrong, and this is a problem that must be fixed for the sake of Madera, California, the United States, and the world.

SXR

Angst.

I need therapy. When I was still denying that fact, my mother was trying to force me to go; now that I admit it, she thinks it's a stupid idea. I'm at a very stressful point in my life and suffering from severe anxiety, emetophobia, and random bouts of depression, but now would be a bad time for therapy? I just don't get it.

I apologize for venting here, but that's what blogs are for.

I do very little for fun. I don't get out very often, aside from school, rehearsals, and meetings. All I really do for fun is go to shows. I haven't been to a single show since January 30, and it is now February 21. I've missed at least five shows this month, and each time one comes along, I get excited at the prospect of finally going out and seeing a few friendly, familiar faces. After the crushing disappointment of being denied a trip to San Francisco on Saturday, being told I had to miss yet another show tonight just gutted me. I'm sore from painting a set for four hours, I haven't felt well in a year, I have tons of senior year shit to deal with, and now, every time something good comes along, it gets ripped away at the last minute.

I've tried so hard over the past few months to stay positive, but it gets harder and harder. My anxiety gets worse, opportunities to go out and have fun are fewer and fewer, my health is constantly declining, I'm being told my college plans are stupid...

In short, fuck my life. I'm getting tired of building myself back up only to be knocked down even further each time.

I'm going to go cry some more and wallow in self pity.

SXR

God Save McQueen

I know I'm posting this a bit late' but I have to say that when I heard about Lee McQueen's death, I was shocked. As far as I'm concerned, he was one of the best, most innovative designers of all time, and his death will have a huge impact on the fashion industry. In honor of McQueen, I've got a new shirt design, which I'll hopefully be printing before too long. I know it's been done, but hey, I like my idea better.

In other news, I've been lonely, college isn't sorted out, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I'm off to wallow in mild self-pity for a while. Let's hope the remainder of the three-day weekend is a bit better.

SXR

Present.

I've been neglecting my blog lately, which isn't surprising, considering my blogging history. Shame on me. I've had little to say, for some reason, and the things I did have to say, I've lost. I did recently play in the snow for the first time, which was fun. I felt like a toddler, falling on my ass and basically having no idea what to do with snow heh. Such is life in the Central Valley.

I managed to make it to CYC for the Sabertooth Zombie show last Saturday, and holy shit, best show ever. (Vulgar+rotting vegetables)+big crowd+(popcorn+chips+couch cushions+absolute chaos)=best show ever. Everyone who missed it really missed out. I, unfortunately, had to leave early due to my lack of transportation, but I'm glad I went at all. If there's anything I've learned in the past six months or so, it's that you never really know what'll happen at CYC, but chances are, it'll be memorable.

I also finally got to see AFI again, for the first time since 2006, I believe. It was at the Rainbow Ballroom in Fresno, a city they've neglected since 2004. While Chris totally missed out on it, they played "Love Is a Many Splendored Thing" and "Advances in Modern Technology," both of which I was incredibly excited to hear. They also played "On the Arrow," which nearly brought a tear to my eye, seeing as that song was once incredibly important to me. There was a surprisingly large amount of bros out on the floor, as well as a few older drunks, but overall, I had a fantastic time. It was well worth the $30 to see my favorite band, as well as Viva Hate and Ceremony, who were great, despite the fact that a few people decided to be rude and attempt to chant them off the stage. Kids these days.

Just thought I'd give my tiny handful of readers a quick update. Remember: if you switch to solar power, not only will you be helping the environment, you'll also be saving money on your electricity bill; PG&E are being very kind to people who use less electricity these days.

SXR

Sound and Fury

I can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon than listening to good records (I'm spinning Youth Brigade at the moment), contemplating the future, and lounging around in the most comfortable sweats in Britain and a well-worn Operation Ivy hoodie.

This month has had a lot of ups and downs, and my mental health has definitely been affected, but I've actually got a couple things to look forward to right now. First off, Tuesday, I'm going to see "Jesus Christ Superstar" with Ted Neeley, who, for those who might not know, played Jesus in the movie. My parents saw it a couple years ago, and loved it, so I'm excited. The movie is pretty cool, and I imagine it's even better on-stage.

The thing I'm most excited about, though, is the AFI show on the twenty-seventh. I've only seen them once before, and it was from way up in the stands at Download, so I'm incredibly excited to have to opportunity to get up in front and fight to stay there hah. Anyone who really knows me knows that they're my favorite band and have been for years, so it would probably come as no surprise that I'm going to get more and more ecstatic before the day of the show. I'm also really looking forward to seeing Ceremony and Viva Hate, and I'm really hoping for some great covers or old songs from AFI; they haven't played Fresno since 2004 or so, so I believe they owe it to us heh.

I really had nothing of importance to say, so I'll close by saying that everyone in the Central Valley should check out CYC's new site, chinatownyouthcenter.org and their blog at chinatownyouthcenter.blogspot.com.

SXR

Resolutions

Being a major hypochondriac, I'm constantly afraid that my health is rapidly deteriorating, so this year, I'm making a serious attempt at getting healthy. By the end of the year, I'd like to have lost at least twenty pounds and improved my overall health. I've been working out and drinking more water, and my vitamins are almost on track again, so all I need to do is cut out more junk food and fine-tune everything else. I've decided that next week, I'm going to attempt to go raw vegan for a week, which should get me going in the right direction heh.

I'm supposed to be writing an essay on Robert Browning's "Porphyria's Lover," so I'll get back to that. I just needed to put my intentions down somewhere heh.

SXR