Fail

I started my day with a bowl of oatmeal and ended it with a veggie sandwich and fries from Five Guys. My stomach wasn't pleased and now I'm not sure whether I want to continue my cleanse for now. I think I'm going to wait until I can go to the doctor and have some blood work done and see if he thinks there are any underlying issues that can be treated. I do intend, though, to seriously change my diet as much as possible. That's really hard when your friends and family aren't doing the same, but I'm going to try and make it work. I'm going to attempt to cut out sugar as much as possible, for the sake of my gut (since sugar feeds bad bacteria), eat more greens and other vegetables, and cut out most carbs. So essentially, I'm going to attempt to live off of vegetables for a while. It's probably not going to happen, but I'm down to try.

I would just really like to feel better. Nothing really seems to work and it really upsets me. Do I really have to feel this way for the rest of my life? It gets bad enough that some days, I'd rather die or even just reach for a beer or a joint in order to escape the shittiness that has become my life. Miserable, no? I feel so bad that I just want to fuck up my body even more. Maybe I'd at least die a little faster and be a little less aware of it, which might be cool.

People like to bitch about how negative I am, but they don't have to live in my body. Trust me, folks, if you felt the way I do on a daily basis, you'd probably come off as pretty negative, too. I know it could be worse, but it isn't, and it still blows, so I'll complain all I want. If there's one thing that makes me happy, though, it's Jawbreaker. (As if you didn't know.)


"Everything's gonna be alright. Steady now, don't fall apart. Keep yourself upright."

SXR

Bay Area Weekend

I went up to San Francisco last Thursday with a friend who attended the Femme Conference in Oakland, which sounded like an amazing experience. As for myself, I hung out with my friends Ralph and Josh, who moved up there a few months ago. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were comprised of vegan food, tattoos, and hanging out in San Francisco, then on Sunday, I went over to Berkeley to hang out with my friend Gabby on her birthday. She got her first tattoo, which is always fun to see.

I'm ecstatic about my own new tattoo, so I had to blog about it and do a really shity edit of it to use as the header for the blog, which you may or may not have noticed. I got it done at Double Crossed Tattoo in the Mission District in San Francisco. If you're in the area and looking for a tattoo, stop by! The shop is nice and the guys there were great. Greg was my artist, and holy shit, we seriously lucked out heh. We'd been to a couple shops who didn't have time for us, but when we got to Double Crossed, they were totally down to work on us. I'm so glad I ended up with an artist who likes Jawbreaker. This tattoo is currently my favorite thing ever. I would post a picture, but that seems redundant, seeing as it's in the header.

I started at Fresno State today, by the way. Could be worse.

SXR

Excitement and Apathy

I don't know why I don't blog more often; I always have so many things I need to share with no one. Let's get down to business.

Weekend before last (I believe), I accompanied several other members of MYL to the Kern family farm, located around North Fork. I'm not entirely interested in farming, but I am interested in DIY, and because of that, I found it incredibly interesting and inspiring. Everything the family grows on their 82 (if I remember correctly) acres is organic, and the farm is almost entirely self-sustainable. Not only that, but the entire farm was built from the ground up by the family. It's quite incredible how much time, money, and energy has gone into it. My hand got a little fucked up from clipping and peeling garlic, but I had a great time.

Now, on to less exciting and interesting things.

I don't know if you care, but I'll let you know what my life has become: I drive all the way to CYC a minimum of two or three times a week, stand off by myself, then usually go to Denny's with Chris until 6 or 7 in the morning. I do this stuff so often that it's sad. Almost every Denny's employee in Fresno (the ones who work nights, that is) must know all about me and Chris and our late-night Denny's escapades. Surprisingly, it is entirely possible to just talk to one person for six or seven hours in one night and not really get sick of it.

Other than that, my obsession with pop punk continues. I've finally gotten into "Dear You," which was, I'm sure, inevitable, and as I type this, I'm pre-ordering the long-awaited forgetters 7", which comes out in September. I still haven't gotten that into Jets to Brazil, but I'm sure that'll happen before long. I can't help it; Blake Schwarzenbach knows how to get to me. He's the poet I wish I could be.

Also, I now make soap. If ever you need glycerin soap with lavendar, honey, green tea, oatmeal, or rose, hit me up; I need money for college. I paid my Fall fees today: a whopping $2,439.50. That's gonna take a lot of soap to pay off.

SXR