Updates

• I finished my antibiotics last night! I'm excited to build my probiotics back up.
• I haven't worn deodorant/antiperspirant in three days (I think) and I haven't gotten sweaty or smelly. Maybe it's time to stop using antiperspirant altogether (seeing as stopping the body from sweating is actually a bad thing in the first place) and just keep deodorant on hand for really hot days or days when I'm going to be really active (hah yeah, right).
• I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I made vegan donuts the other day. My first maple glaze sucked, but the second one was fucking amazing. I think I'll start making them more often and start experimenting with flavors.

My blogs get more and more pointless.

SXR

Drugs

Thanks to the medicine I took last night, I overslept today and missed Women's Studies. I'd been afraid of that and wasn't surprised at all. It's better to oversleep when you're sick than not sleep at all, as far as I'm concerned. Because I needed a doctor's note to excuse my absence (and because I was tired of coughing), I decided to go to urgent care. Turns out I have an upper respiratory infection and strep throat, despite the fact that my throat hasn't hurt at all. Strange. I was sent home with a prescription for a z-pack (a very strong antibiotic), promethazine DM, and an inhaler, I was given a breathing treatment, and I was told to buy a sinus rinse. I'm apparently pretty intensely ill and have some serious sinus and airway issues.

So, the abundance of good gut flora I've so lovingly maintained is currently being slaughtered by a drug that may or may not make me ill for a few days. I'm continuing to take even more probiotics just to maintain my immune system and combat some of the side effects, just in case, but it hurts to know I'm putting wonderful bacteria in there only to kill it off. Oh, well. In four more days, I can get to work on building it up again. I believe I've read it takes at least a month, probably more, to do that. I think it might be a good time to invest in a super strong probiotic, just for funzies.

I refuse to take a full dose of cough syrup, so I won't be passing out anytime soon, but I might as well try to sleep. I have a long, shitty day ahead of me.

SXR

Sicksicksick

I've had a dry cough for about nine days now. Today was the worst so far, thanks to the bad air quality in Fresno; I had a really bad allergy attack on top of my mystery illness. I didn't sleep last night and chances are, I won't get much sleep tonight, although I did take a benadryl and about half a teaspoon of prescription-strength cough syrup. Cough syrup is one of those things I'll only take if I'm desperate and I know I'm pissing my family off, and I got to that point for the first time in probably years tonight. I hate taking medication of any kind, but I'll take what I need, and it's always the minimum. I didn't take a single pain killer when I got out of the hospital after having my gallbladder removed and only allowed them to give me half a dose of it when I was there. I truly dislike taking anything that'll fuck with me, cough syrup included.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Is it because I'm awake with nothing better to do? Is it because the drowsiness is setting in and I'm feeling bad about taking medicine at all? I'm not into the whole "more-edge-than-thou" thing; hardliners break easier than those of us who don't have sticks up our asses, as far as I'm concerned. I firmly believe that I have a better chance at sticking to my lifestyle than a person who'd refuse medication during a surgery just to try and prove something. I have nothing to prove. I know I have no interest in drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and promiscuity, and I have no desire to try and convince people of that on a daily basis because they know it as well as I do. (Also: I don't care if you've never so much as touched a beer bottle, if you sleep around, you aren't edge.)

My train of thought is insanely disjointed, I know, and I'm really not saying much of anything. That's the cough syrup talking.

SXR

One day, two blogs.

As soon as the dates are released for the Portland Zine Symposium, I'll officially start planning my summer road-trip (which someone else will need to get in on; I can't afford to drive up there on my own). The itinerary will look something like this:

• Leave Madera and head to the Bay.
• Stay in the Bay for one or two days, depending on what's going on.
• Head up to Portland for at least the two days of the symposium, probably one or two more.
• Possibly head up to Seattle, just to check it out.
• Head back down and maybe spend another day or two in the Bay or Santa Cruz.
• Go home.

The entire trip should take about two weeks, I think. We'll see. I swear to god I'm gonna make it happen! I need to get out of here for a while, and the further I go, the better. Who's in?

SXR

Nothing ever changes.

Things have been pretty decent lately. I've managed to remain surprisingly zen through even the most stressful of shows and I've finally begun to adjust to being lonely. However, just when I think I'm really getting better, things get even worse. I'm back to constantly worrying about puking, back to picking at my scalp every single fucking time I drive home, and I've spent probably half an hour of my short day today crying. Just when I thought I was finally staying posi!

Random note, Last.fm is playing my ideal playlist right now: J Church, followed by Discount, followed by Chinese Telephones, then Fifteen. I think that despite my shitty day, I've died and gone to heaven.

Maybe I'll just never really be happy. I guess I handle stress better than I did for a long time, but every time I start thinking I've really made an improvement, days like today happen and I feel like all the work I've put into feeling better about things goes right down the drain. I know I just sound like a stupid, whiny kid, but I am; I'm not trying to deny it. Maybe I just need a vacation. I think I need a break from people, shows, school, family, technology... I need to be alone in the Bay for a week or so and just relax.

In closing, I have a migraine, my foot is bruised, and I'm having a terrible fucking day, but I'm listening to some fantastic music, which almost makes it all okay. I might waste some gas on a trip to Fresno for some alone-time at a cafe; that's my new coping mechanism. I'm about due for a mocha or something; it's been a few days.

SXR

Updates

• World History is a fantastic band. Check them out.
• When SEK plays, people puke everywhere.
• I decided today that I'm going to the National College of Natural Medicine to become a naturopathic doctor. This will probably be after I go to Mills for my MFA in Creative Writing. By the way, it's in Portland and has an epic cafe.
• Frooty Pebbles plus too much tofu plus mocha equals fucked up stomach.
• I'm on top of (most of) my school work.
• I should be in bed.
• The Bel-Tower is in its fifth month.

That's about it for now. I just felt like posting a brief blog about shit. I'm in a strangely good mood tonight and I have no idea why, but I'm not complaining.

SXR

Restless

I still feel unfulfilled. No surprise there. I expect to feel that way all my life.

Now that we haven't had shows every night, I've been especially restless. I have too much time to sit and do nothing, which is never good. If I could at least afford to go out and do something else, even just sit alone at a cafe, I'd be better off, but at the moment, I can't. However, I have managed to write seven or eight pages for a new zine that I'll probably never finish heh. It's actually going pretty well at the moment. This zine's about natural healing, and I'm not expert, but I'm trying to compile all the shit I've read in my years of hypochondria-fueled research.

I have a seven page fictional story due on March 2. Have I started it? Nope. Do I have any idea what I'm going to write? Nope. Will it probably end up another wanna-be Aaron Cometbus piece like my last one? Probably. I'm not punx.

In local news, shit sucks. Fights, threats, theft...

Fuck the world.

SXR