Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Numerology

I got bored and decided to delve into a bit of numerology again. It's been a while. All of the conversions and explanations I used here are from http://www.astrology-numerology.com.

DESTINY NUMBER: 7

The number 7 Destiny suggests that the direction of growth in your lifetime will be toward thought, analysis, and the development of a mind skilled at searching out the truth. You must become accomplished at analyzing, judging and discriminating, so that little escapes your observation and deep understanding. In this you will become increasingly introspective, and value seclusiveness and solitude.

You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, and you must become an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals.

You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well.

The positive aspects of the 7 Destiny are that you must be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it.

If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained. Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant.

SOUL URGE NUMBER: 7
With a 7 Soul Urge, you have a strong inner need to gain a spiritual sense about the world around you. You have an inborn appreciation for nature and the wonders of the world around you. Fulfillment comes with being able to spend time in solitude and in seeking wisdom.
INNER DREAMS: 6 (I don't think this makes sense for me.)
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.
LIFE PATH NUMBER: 8

The Life Path 8 suggests that you entered this plane armed to lead, direct, organize and govern. You are very ambitious and goal-oriented. You will want to use your ambitions, your organizational ability, and your efficient approach to carve a satisfying niche for yourself. If you are a positive 8 you are endowed with tremendous potential for conceiving far-reaching schemes and ideas, and also possessing the tenacity and independence to follow them through to completion. In short, you were born to be an executive.

You know how to manage yourself and your environment. Your ability to judge the character and potential of the people around you is an asset used to your advantage. A large part of your success in life comes from how hard you work. This Life Path is the most prone to producing workaholics. But your ability to spot good people and engage them in your endeavors is a special trait not to be overlooked. There is an inspirational quality in your makeup which allows you to become a great leader. You are practical and steady in your pursuit of major objectives, and you have the courage of your convictions when it comes to taking the necessary chances to get ahead.

With the Life Path of the number 8 you are focused on learning the satisfactions to be found in the material world. The Life Path 8 produces many powerful, confident and materially successful people. Most of your concerns involve money and learning of the power that comes with its proper manipulation.

This Life Path is perhaps the one that is the most concerned with and desirous of status as an ultimate measure of success. You want to be recognized for your hard work and achievements. The attainment of honors and acceptance into the club of executive leadership is all important. For this, you may find yourself very well suited to compete in the business world or in the political arena.

In relationships, you are frank, honest, and steadfast. You may be very much in love, but watch that you are not too busy and preoccupied to show it. Being the lavish provider is not always an adequate substitute for showing your devotion and affection in more personal ways. You have a great need for close personal relationships to mitigate and somehow soften your nature. You must find the time for love and keep it as an important project in your life.

The negative 8 can be dictatorial and often suppresses the enthusiasm and efforts of fellow member of the environment. Often, the strength of their own personality excludes close feelings for other people with whom they come in contact. Material gains and rewards often become issues of utmost importance, even to the neglect of family, home and peace of mind. Dedication to success can become an obsession. Emotional feelings are often suppressed by the negative 8, resulting in isolation and loneliness. All Life Path 8 people must avoid discounting the opinions of others.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

GoodBelly

I decided to try GoodBelly probiotic drinks a few days ago. I think I've used it for four days now. So far, my stomach has been super noisy and I've been bloated as fuck, but other than that, no problems. I'm pretty positive all of that is just because my intestinal flora is changing and everything, which is normal when starting a probiotic, even if you already take other strains. I think that's what turn so many people off of them, but with most things that detoxify the body, you have to go through a little bit of bad to get to the good. Olive leaf certainly made me feel like shit the first time I took it, but after that, I've never had a problem. Anyway, for the first three days I drank the juice (blueberry acai or something like that) and today I took one of the plain Straightshots. That one was kind of unpleasant, taste-wise, but it packs a punch. I prefer Lifeways shots, definitely, since the dairy in kefir doesn't bother me anyway.

I'm going to stick with this stuff for at least the 12 days they recommend. After that, I'll evaluate everything. I definitely understand that it's normal to have side effects at first, so I'm not going to write it off as a failure yet. If my stomach is still loud and annoying after two weeks, though, I'll have to stop using it daily, because it's getting on my nerves already.

Just thought I'd check in and mention the product and my experience with it so far. It's vegan, just a couple bucks a carton, and really good, so you should give it a try if you can. GoodBelly also has a 12 day challenge you can sign up for on their site where they'll send you coupons, and if you don't like the product after 12 days, they'll refund your purchase. Not a bad deal.

SXR

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Kill me.

Tonight is one of those nights. Emo music will be on constant rotation and I'll be ingesting some herbal stress-relievers in a minute. (No, not pot.)

It sucks when the people who used to make you happy become the people who make you want to rip your hair out and then bash your head into the wall. I haven't felt this angsty in a while.

I don't know what to do anymore.

SXR

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tubes, Pills, Hunger

I went to the student health center for the first time today. It was a pretty positive experience, especially because I've lost some weight and my blood pressure has seriously improved. However, as usual, my complaint came up irrelevant again, because despite the pain I've had in my ears for the past few days, they're not infected and everything seems fine, aside from red sinuses and blocked eustachian tubes. Sudafed was only $1.95 for 24 at the school pharmacy, which is wonderful, and I'm supposed to take 90 mg and a Mucinex tablet every day until my head clears up. Apparently I have a cold. Weird.

On that note, I think olive leaf really has helped me. I'm still getting half-sick, but it's better than being totally sick. I decided to double my dosage tonight, which my empty stomach isn't entirely pleased with. I'd have taken even more if I hadn't known it'd make me feel like shit. You know something's working when you actually get a die-off effect that goes away with regular use. I'm down to my last few capsules, sadly, and I can't afford to buy any more yet, so I'll have to figure something out there. I'd hate to get off-track with the one pill I actually take almost every single day, especially because it does make me feel better. Actually, I think it's what's bringing my blood pressure down, too, which is fantastic, because hypertension runs in the family and I lose weight at the speed of smell, if not slower.

For the past couple of nights, I've been getting extremely hungry. Lately, I just feel afraid to eat at night for some reason. I have no idea what my deal is right now. Hunger gets painful after a while, and it's not like I don't have access to food. I don't have access to much good food with any nutritional value, but I could at least go grab a handful of trail mix or something. Kefir ended up being the only thing that could satisfy me last night, but I've already had too much of that today, since I've been trying to cut back on sugar. Sometimes I really do wonder if I eat enough. It seems backwards to eat more in order to lose weight, but really, that's how it should be in most peoples' cases. I'm probably hurting myself much more than helping myself by eating less than 1000 calories a day, even if I do have a really low activity level. It takes me forever to lose weight, so there's always the possibility that my body's trying not to let go of the fat because it's not getting enough food. I'm trying to force myself into better eating habits, and eating something satisfying at night should be my next goal. I'm considering investing in protein shakes again because I know they'll fill me up long enough to get to sleep and give me some much-needed nutrients.

Here comes the ear pain, along with the growling stomach. It might be time to turn in.

SXR

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Brushing up

I'm about halfway through the second week of the semester. So far, so good, for the most part. I got dropped from yoga, but I guess I'm being added back. I bought one book and I'm waiting on another, as well as the iClicker I need for my math class, which is already a struggle to keep attending. There's something about classes of 200 or so that just make me want to ditch. Other than that, everything's going well. Classes are easy, assignments are quick, painless, and there haven't been many. This might be a pretty good semester.

I finally got my bass out today and tried playing some stuff. In case I hadn't mentioned, I'm doing a Green Day set with Ryan Cod and Alan for a '90s cover show at Bel-Tower on October 29 (exactly a year after the last cover show). I think there will also be Pantera, Creed, and some other bands represented. I keep forgetting who's covering what. All I know is that I finally get to play some Green Day. I've got "Basket Case" down and I'm working on perfecting "Going to Pasalacqua". I have no idea what songs we all want to cover, but I figure I might as well learn my favorites and most of the hits if I can. I've got time. It's nice to finally play bass again. I'm pretty sure I'll need new strings before the show, and possibly a better tune-up, but for now, things are going pretty well.

SXR

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Low

Today was okay, I suppose. I had an interview at Macy's, which went okay. I think I looked pretty nice, but I don't have real retail experience, so I automatically assume no one wants to hire me anyway. If the job market wasn't so terrible, I'd think maybe I could get hired just based on intelligence and my genuine desire to help people, but unfortunately, that's not really how it goes right now.

An hour or two ago, my back pain came back. The Icy Hot just wore off and I was too lazy to reapply it, so I guess I'll deal for tonight. I'm bloated, my eyes feel tired and sore from the makeup I had on earlier, I have a sinus headache, my allergies just started acting up... Needless to say, I don't feel great right now. Plus, I'm upset over the fact that nothing I try to do for FYBT Fest works out. The new bands I want to ask to play are all on tour or too far away, and apparently returning acts are no longer welcome, so... I guess I'm out. Everyone else can plan it. Fuck it. Not like I should have any sort of say when we're booking probably seven or eight out-of-town bands. God forbid I try to get just one I'd really like to see.

I should be asleep since I have to be up at 8. I'm tired, but I'm not at the same time. My eyes are way more tired than my mind, which is constantly coming up with new reasons to be pissed off, sad, or worried. I think there are some serious hormonal shifts going on up there heh.

Today I was thinking a lot about whether or not to start shaving regularly for yoga class. I still haven't made up my mind. The pants I'll wear most of the time cover everything but my ankles, but I don't know if I'm ready to be "that fat hairy chick." I know it's a stupid thing to worry about, but I can't help it. I've held off a lot on shaving lately for a few reasons: I finally got some nice tights, I've had cuts and bruises on my legs that have made it painful to shave, my skin is extra dry in the summer, and I've been trying to unlearn the idea that women shouldn't have body hair. Honestly, I'm not a fan of it, but as someone of Mediterranean descent, hair is just something I have to deal with. If I really wanted to shave or wax my whole body, it would take hours, and I'm just not willing to waste my time on stupid shit like that all the time. Every now and then, sure, but not every day. Some people just don't seem to be aware of how time-consuming shaving can be. It's also expensive, sometimes hard on the back, a pain in the ass when you're fat and have more surface to deal with, it dries out the skin, and when the hair starts growing back, it tends to itch. Plus, I have sensitive skin and tend to end up with searing cuts in my armpits and blood all over my legs, which usually doesn't stop for a couple of hours. It's not that I like being hairy; I just don't like taking time out of my day to inflict pain upon myself. I may shave my ankles in the morning. We'll see.

Now that you know more than you want to and eight o'clock is slowly creeping up, I should attempt to go to bed. I'm planning to check out Revive Cafe for the first time tomorrow (raw, organic, and vegan... in FRESNO!?), so I have that to look forward to after a long, boring day of school.

SXR

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Icy Hot

My blood tests came back normal and the gastroenterologist said I don't need to see him anymore. I suppose that's good. What made the visit worth it (it was literally four or five minutes long) was that he said he'd start recommending olive leaf extract to his patients. As someone who loves helping people and sharing my knowledge of alternative medicine and shit, that was really nice. Normally, doctors tend to write herbal treatments off as bullshit because they don't get cuts from pharmaceutical companies for them, so it was cool to finally find one who was willing to look into one. I really do think olive leaf has helped me. My stomach hurts way less and I feel much better, for the most part. I'm currently in pain due to god knows what and my back is covered in Icy Hot, but other than that and some bloating and occasional cramps due to my period, I feel pretty good.

School wasn't too terrible today. I think I can handle being at school from 10 to 9:30-ish, but it will definitely require some coffee, strong tea, or mate. I barely made it through the day and I got home at 7. Obviously, I'm still up, but I've been tired all evening. Waking up is such a chore heh. I'm considering staying up tonight, depending on my pain. I really don't want to, but if the stabbing isn't gone when the Icy Hot wears off, I may go to the health center or urgent care tomorrow, just to get someone else's opinion. I have a sneaking suspicion I need to get checked for ovarian cysts or endometriosis, especially given the fact that I get worse every month, but I keep putting it off because I really don't want to deal with that right now heh. Too many doctors.

I've been looking into Buddhism a lot more lately. Maybe it's just the Kerouac. I've always been interested in Buddhism, though. I see it as a philosophy, not a religion, so don't go thinking I'm suddenly all about any gods heh. I'd just like to learn more about it and definitely focus more on my diet, my attitude, yoga, and meditation. I feel like it'll be good for me. The Four Noble Truths make a whole hell of a lot of sense to me. Buddhism is almost nihilistic in that the ultimate goal is nothingness. I love it. We'll see where it takes me.

SXR