One day, two blogs.

As soon as the dates are released for the Portland Zine Symposium, I'll officially start planning my summer road-trip (which someone else will need to get in on; I can't afford to drive up there on my own). The itinerary will look something like this:

• Leave Madera and head to the Bay.
• Stay in the Bay for one or two days, depending on what's going on.
• Head up to Portland for at least the two days of the symposium, probably one or two more.
• Possibly head up to Seattle, just to check it out.
• Head back down and maybe spend another day or two in the Bay or Santa Cruz.
• Go home.

The entire trip should take about two weeks, I think. We'll see. I swear to god I'm gonna make it happen! I need to get out of here for a while, and the further I go, the better. Who's in?

SXR

Nothing ever changes.

Things have been pretty decent lately. I've managed to remain surprisingly zen through even the most stressful of shows and I've finally begun to adjust to being lonely. However, just when I think I'm really getting better, things get even worse. I'm back to constantly worrying about puking, back to picking at my scalp every single fucking time I drive home, and I've spent probably half an hour of my short day today crying. Just when I thought I was finally staying posi!

Random note, Last.fm is playing my ideal playlist right now: J Church, followed by Discount, followed by Chinese Telephones, then Fifteen. I think that despite my shitty day, I've died and gone to heaven.

Maybe I'll just never really be happy. I guess I handle stress better than I did for a long time, but every time I start thinking I've really made an improvement, days like today happen and I feel like all the work I've put into feeling better about things goes right down the drain. I know I just sound like a stupid, whiny kid, but I am; I'm not trying to deny it. Maybe I just need a vacation. I think I need a break from people, shows, school, family, technology... I need to be alone in the Bay for a week or so and just relax.

In closing, I have a migraine, my foot is bruised, and I'm having a terrible fucking day, but I'm listening to some fantastic music, which almost makes it all okay. I might waste some gas on a trip to Fresno for some alone-time at a cafe; that's my new coping mechanism. I'm about due for a mocha or something; it's been a few days.

SXR

Updates

• World History is a fantastic band. Check them out.
• When SEK plays, people puke everywhere.
• I decided today that I'm going to the National College of Natural Medicine to become a naturopathic doctor. This will probably be after I go to Mills for my MFA in Creative Writing. By the way, it's in Portland and has an epic cafe.
• Frooty Pebbles plus too much tofu plus mocha equals fucked up stomach.
• I'm on top of (most of) my school work.
• I should be in bed.
• The Bel-Tower is in its fifth month.

That's about it for now. I just felt like posting a brief blog about shit. I'm in a strangely good mood tonight and I have no idea why, but I'm not complaining.

SXR

Restless

I still feel unfulfilled. No surprise there. I expect to feel that way all my life.

Now that we haven't had shows every night, I've been especially restless. I have too much time to sit and do nothing, which is never good. If I could at least afford to go out and do something else, even just sit alone at a cafe, I'd be better off, but at the moment, I can't. However, I have managed to write seven or eight pages for a new zine that I'll probably never finish heh. It's actually going pretty well at the moment. This zine's about natural healing, and I'm not expert, but I'm trying to compile all the shit I've read in my years of hypochondria-fueled research.

I have a seven page fictional story due on March 2. Have I started it? Nope. Do I have any idea what I'm going to write? Nope. Will it probably end up another wanna-be Aaron Cometbus piece like my last one? Probably. I'm not punx.

In local news, shit sucks. Fights, threats, theft...

Fuck the world.

SXR

Resolutions?

I have a tendency to decide to do all of these really intense things for my own betterment and never do them, or I'll start them and never finish. That (eventually) has to stop! So, when I finally get around to it, I'm going to do all of the following:

• Go raw vegan for a week, like I've been saying I would for probably six months or more.
• Try gluten-free for at least a week.
• Cut out sugar ENTIRELY for a week and hopefully cut back by at least half for the rest of my life. (We'll see how that goes.)
• Go on a juice diet for a week.
• Do at least fifteen minutes of yoga a day instead of five or six.
• Cut half the dairy from my diet.
• Eat at least three times a day.

I'm serious about these things, damn it!

Constructing the Quintessential '90s Music Video

(This is just for fun and because I have too much time on my hands, as well as an intense love of the '90s.)

What makes the perfect '90s-style music video? Can it be recreated today? How might one recreate the vibe of a '90s video and what was it that made '90s videos so unique? We'll discuss these things and more today.

First, let's decide what elements essentially make up the perfect '90s music video. I believe them to be as follows:

• Bright colors, often brighter than one might usually see on regular TV programming.
• Footage of the band or artist performing in a small, square room.
• Obscure imagery, such as that of fish, stock film footage, et cetera.
• An obscure scenario.
• Some sort of debris or object falling from above.
• Switching between casual attire and formal attire.
• Animals.
• Facial close-ups, often with bright lighting.
• Men in dresses, gowns, makeup, or jewelry.

Can these elements be found in every '90s music video? Of course not; however, they can be found in many, and often times, a video will have most or all of these qualities. Let's take a look at a few examples. These are a few of my personal favorites.

Jawbreaker- "Fireman" (1995)

Note the obscure scenario, bright colors, shots from above and below, performance in a small room, dalmatian, objects falling from above, close-ups with bright lighting, and drag.


Green Day

Many of Green Day's videos are prime examples of the '90s music video. Many of their early videos include almost all of the elements listed above, and their music is often associated with the decade even today. Some of the best examples of this are as follows:

"Basket Case" (1995)

One would be hard-pressed to find brighter colors in a music video. This video also contains many of the other elements; these are easy to spot.

"Geek Stink Breath"


This video is an excellent example. It contains bright colors, facial close-ups, footage of performance in a small room, and bizarre dental imagery.

"Longview"


Another excellent example. Bright colors, small room performance, close-ups, monkey, and stock footage.


Other Examples

Of course, there are excellent examples of '90s videos outside of pop punk. Here are a few I find particularly fine specimens:

Soundgarden- "Black Hole Sun"



Perhaps one of the most well-known videos of the '90s, it contains many of the above elements.

Nirvana- "Heart Shaped Box"




Modern '90s-style videos

Rihanna's new video for "S&M" is a good example of a current interpretation of a '90s video. However, other videos have quite a few '90s elements, as well.

Aiden- "One Love"




Other good examples could include AFI's video for "Girl's Not Grey" and TV On The Radio's "Golden Age."

Long time, no blog

Let's recap:

• forgetters and Street Eaters were fucking amazing and Blake Schwarzenbach is an insanely nice guy. I'm so glad I managed to book them. I think it's kind of an accomplishment, despite the fact that it was a small turnout.
• Blake Schwarzenbach.
• Blake Schwarzenbach.
• Bel-Tower is still alive.
• I'm more broke than ever.
• Blake Schwarzenbach.
  

Lately, I feel insanely restless. I'm not unhappy, but I don't feel entirely fulfilled. I suppose that since I'm so young, I really shouldn't or there'd be no point in living, but in a world of instant gratification and simplified everything, it's hard not to want constant fulfillment. I can't keep my mind on just one project, and my mind is most certainly not set on school right now. If I wasn't stuck in Fresno, I honestly think that would be different. Despite the fact that I only have about five or six friends, most of whom are not close, I feel like I'm too distracted by other things, like hanging out or working at The Bel-Tower. I'm sure I'd be a bit distracted in Oakland, Berkeley, Hayward, San Francisco, or Brooklyn, all of which are home to my dream schools, but at least there, I'd have no friends and be forced to focus on school to some extent.

I think this is going to be one of those years where I try to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my life. I'm incredibly broke, unemployed, making very slow progress on my degree... Somewhere along the way, I have to either pick up the pace and get with the "American dream" model for living or just give in and part ways with the system. I'm honestly thinking about spending this summer in the Bay Area, staying with friends, squatting, staying in hostels... whatever I can afford at any given time. I feel like I need time to go out on my own and be forced to struggle in a place I feel I need to be. If I can make it for a couple of months with almost nothing, I'll know I won't be completely fucked. It's not that I'm denying my privilege or whatever, as my Women's Studies professor would say, I just feel that since I will undoubtedly be broke for the majority of my life based on my ethics, morals, ideals, et cetera, I need to get used to that sooner rather than later. At the same time, though, I'm always trying to make connections to people in "high places." The more connections I have, the more chances I have at being able to make some kind of living doing the things I love.

I realize that my train of thought is incredibly disjointed and I almost never have a point. Forgive me.

Now allow me to digress a bit.

Part of my restlessness seems to come from the fact that everything is so easy these days. I hate it. I truly believe it's less convenient to get an e-mail than to get a letter. I disregard e-mails, but I read letters. (Who still hyphenates the word "e-mail"?) I'd rather hand-write a zine or card than type it up and use some fancy software to lay it out or something. I'd much rather get a flier for a show in-person than get a Facebook invite. Everyone has gotten so lazy. No one has to work for much of anything anymore (aside from money). Want to promote a show? No problem; post it on Facebook a couple times and you're good. Want to go meet new people? Grab your laptop and you'll have friends in no time. It's absurd. While a lot of people are content to read e-books, I refuse to read any book that isn't printed, bound, and easy to dog-ear. I'm tired of technology and laziness. I don't think it makes life any cheaper or easier, it makes us all lazier and more susceptible to ridiculous amounts of consumerism.

Again, no point. That's essentially what led me here around one in the morning on a school night, though. I have so much more to say but can't think of how to say it, so it'll remain in my mind until I find someone to rant to in person.

SXR