Bay Area Weekend

I went up to San Francisco last Thursday with a friend who attended the Femme Conference in Oakland, which sounded like an amazing experience. As for myself, I hung out with my friends Ralph and Josh, who moved up there a few months ago. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were comprised of vegan food, tattoos, and hanging out in San Francisco, then on Sunday, I went over to Berkeley to hang out with my friend Gabby on her birthday. She got her first tattoo, which is always fun to see.

I'm ecstatic about my own new tattoo, so I had to blog about it and do a really shity edit of it to use as the header for the blog, which you may or may not have noticed. I got it done at Double Crossed Tattoo in the Mission District in San Francisco. If you're in the area and looking for a tattoo, stop by! The shop is nice and the guys there were great. Greg was my artist, and holy shit, we seriously lucked out heh. We'd been to a couple shops who didn't have time for us, but when we got to Double Crossed, they were totally down to work on us. I'm so glad I ended up with an artist who likes Jawbreaker. This tattoo is currently my favorite thing ever. I would post a picture, but that seems redundant, seeing as it's in the header.

I started at Fresno State today, by the way. Could be worse.

SXR

The Soapy Smell of Failure

I'm into activism. That doesn't mean I'm going to throw myself in front of vehicles or stop eating for a week. I consider myself a bit of a feminist. That doesn't mean I don't believe in shaving or dating men, so long as they're respectful. I often feel like there's really no "scene" I belong to. If nothing else, I suppose I belong to the Fresno/Central Valley DIY scene, if such a thing really, truly exists. It isn't much of a scene; it's just a few disjointed individuals and groups who rarely come together all at once, especially from different cities. I don't consider myself a punk, a hardcore kid, a hipster, an activist... Sometimes it's insane how people try to keep all of these groups seperate. It's like a plate of delicious food has been served to the city of Fresno, but Fresno (or the people in it) won't let any of the items touch. Now and then you'll see hardcore kids and punks at the same show, but you almost never see all of these "subcultures" at the same time and in the same place. There's very little unity here, and it seems to go against everything the punk and hardcore communities stand for.

I wasn't quite going anywhere with that, in case you were wondering. Just saying.

I recently started making soap (melt and pour, since I don't have easy access to all of the supplies I'd need to make it from scratch right now) in hopes of pulling in a little cash. So far, nothing. I listed some stuff on eBay and have seen some considerable interest, so I may be able to afford a couple more shows; I'm getting really low on cash and have no job, so driving to and from Fresno all the time and going to shows is going to get really difficult. I'll find a way, though; it's all I really have heh. 3SN is all but done, otherXcore zine may never happen... It's disappointing to see so many of my ideas kind of crash and burn. I'm a creative person, but that creativity tends to be a bit unfocused, so it rarely goes anywhere or does anything for me. I'm supposed to start doing shows in Madera soon (which is something I've always wanted to do), but we'll see how that goes. I can either be ridiculously DIY and break into semi-abandoned buildings (which is quite risky, since I'd rather go to college than jail), or I can shell out a ton of money to rent a space. I hate to say it, but the second option sounds slightly more favorable. We'll see how that goes. In the future, I'd love to do some kind of fest, sort of like Madstock and Fresno Fest, but I don't see myself having the money, time, or connections anytime soon. Ideally, it'd be a couple days long, have a bunch of bands from all over the area, and maybe from elsewhere, have workshops, and be a really cool unifying experience for everyone, but eh. Maybe that's just wishful thinking.

Side note: I'm pretty sure absolutely no one reads this blog, but I bet that if I had a tumblr, people would suddenly be interested. (Blogspot is for real bloggers. Unlike myself. I'm not bad enough for tumblr, though.)

SXR

Excitement and Apathy

I don't know why I don't blog more often; I always have so many things I need to share with no one. Let's get down to business.

Weekend before last (I believe), I accompanied several other members of MYL to the Kern family farm, located around North Fork. I'm not entirely interested in farming, but I am interested in DIY, and because of that, I found it incredibly interesting and inspiring. Everything the family grows on their 82 (if I remember correctly) acres is organic, and the farm is almost entirely self-sustainable. Not only that, but the entire farm was built from the ground up by the family. It's quite incredible how much time, money, and energy has gone into it. My hand got a little fucked up from clipping and peeling garlic, but I had a great time.

Now, on to less exciting and interesting things.

I don't know if you care, but I'll let you know what my life has become: I drive all the way to CYC a minimum of two or three times a week, stand off by myself, then usually go to Denny's with Chris until 6 or 7 in the morning. I do this stuff so often that it's sad. Almost every Denny's employee in Fresno (the ones who work nights, that is) must know all about me and Chris and our late-night Denny's escapades. Surprisingly, it is entirely possible to just talk to one person for six or seven hours in one night and not really get sick of it.

Other than that, my obsession with pop punk continues. I've finally gotten into "Dear You," which was, I'm sure, inevitable, and as I type this, I'm pre-ordering the long-awaited forgetters 7", which comes out in September. I still haven't gotten that into Jets to Brazil, but I'm sure that'll happen before long. I can't help it; Blake Schwarzenbach knows how to get to me. He's the poet I wish I could be.

Also, I now make soap. If ever you need glycerin soap with lavendar, honey, green tea, oatmeal, or rose, hit me up; I need money for college. I paid my Fall fees today: a whopping $2,439.50. That's gonna take a lot of soap to pay off.

SXR

Goings on

Last Thursday, I finally had my gallbladder removed. Miraculously, I made it out of the hospital (where I was forced to stay for approximately 30 hours) having had only two doses of demerol, and I never took any of the vicodin I was prescribed. I'm still sort of in the recovery process, but I'm doing well, aside from some itching in my incisions. I've already been to two shows since the surgery, so I'm doing quite well. I even drove there, despite my doctor's orders not to drive.

Last week, I also became examiner.com's Fresno straight edge culture writer, so I'm sort of employed as a freelance writer! I hear the pay is terrible (and since it's based primarily on page views, I'm sure it is), and I'm bound to run out of topics in no time, but in my current state of unemployment, it's better than nothing. If you've got any ideas for articles, please feel free to let me know. They have to be relevant to Fresno's straight edge scene or something I can tie into the local scene.

In other news, I'm trying to start a zine for the third or fourth time. This September will be the second anniversary of the 3SN zine that never happened! (Thanks, Kelly hah.) I'm thinking that this one will be a mix of my own assorted shitty work, including collages, fiction, nonfiction, and terrible drawings. Hopefully I can give it some sort of relevance that will make people actually want to read an issue or two. Wish me luck.

SXR

Crazy how things change.

I believe I was twelve years old when I declared AFI my favorite band of all time and swore they always would be (hence the really bad AFI prison-style tattoo on my ankle hah). While I still love them, I'm finally swallowing my pride and admitting to myself that I've been wrong all these years. (It's already been probably close to seven years now. So crazy.)

I can now say, with some certainty, that Jawbreaker is my favorite band. Who'd have seen that one coming when I was the little fat girl with the faux devillock and the eyeliner halfway down her face?

Luckily, I haven't gotten to the sad level of obsession I had over AFI with Jawbreaker. I think I'm past the fangirl stage of my life now. However, pop punk (particularly that which came out of the nineties) is taking over my life. I guess that's a good thing, considering my cynicism (which Jawbreaker adresses quite well); I need a little more posi in my life. It's also kind of fun to talk about all the bands I've been listening to lately and have everyone give me a blank stare in return. Listening to bands your friends have never heard of is so punx. Plus, since I'm starting college this fall, I'll finally get to be that former semi-stereotype of a middle class, white, vegetarian college student who listens to pop punk, is into activism, makes shirts, and majors in English. So psyched.

I think it's time to make a fun mix-CD (consisting mostly of Jawbreaker and Latterman) for my frequent drives to Fresno.

SXR

Existential Crisis

Sunday morning, I woke up with the weirdest feeling. I kind of just felt like I didn't belong-- I didn't belong in my bed, in my room, in my body, anywhere. From then on, this week has been an almost non-stop existential crisis, and holy shit, am I exhausted. I'm sure other people are tired of me and my whining, but they'll get over it shortly after I get over myself hah.

I've accomplished an awful lot lately, and I don't know why I never blog about anything. For the sake of simplicity, here's a list:

1. I helped plan and run an event, which took place today and was quite a success.
2. I baked vegan cupcakes from scratch for the first time and they were fucking delicious.
3. I helped paint a giant 15x4 foot banner for the event.
4. I did three acrylic paintings on canvas, which I don't think I've ever done before.
5. I bought a Yudu.
6. I made myself a Jawbreaker shirt and printed a bunch of 3SN shirts.
7. I made over $40 off of 3SN stuff today.
8. I discovered that I have gallstones and have surgery scheduled for June 15.

I feel like I've done more than that, but it's slipping my mind. I lead a generally unexciting life, filled with unnecessary emotions, bitterness, and Jawbreaker.

SXR

Nothing New

So, while some people were at Coachella, getting drunk in the ridiculously hot sun, I was doing cooler, more productive things here in the 559. Friday night, I stopped by C.A.F.E. Infoshop for the Microcosm Publishing Post Punk Extravaganza Tour, which was a good time. Good people, good vegan food, a cool documentary, an interesting exhibit, and lots of radical zines and books. Everyone who didn't go missed out. On Saturday, Kelly and I helped our friend Tiffany with her CVAQ event, during which I got a crazy sunburn on my wrists, the back of my neck, and the backs of my calves. Not fun. After that, we stopped by Vintage Days at Fresno State, then made our way to the Tower District, where we ate at Loving Hut, which is basically still Au Lac hah. I'm getting good at navigating around Downtown Fresno and the Tower District, by the way. After lunch/dinner/whatever, we went to the Vulgar/Velisha/Destruct show. Kelly interviewed me and Chris for her English project and we had some fun discussions, as usual. CYC and people like Kelly, Chris, and the infamous Batlord are the reason I'm not killing myself over the fact that I'm not moving to the Bay Area this summer, truly.

The documentary we saw ("If It Ain't Cheap, It Ain't Punk") definitely inspired me to pick back up on a few projects I'd been working on and planning, including a documentary I've been talking about doing for months now. Since I'm stuck in the Central Valley for at least two more years, I figured why not start up on it now? I'm in the process of planning it all out and trying to get the logistics down right now, but I hope to start doing some really bad filming within the next couple of months. The shittier, the better, right? DIY for life.

Speaking of which, I encourage everyone who stumbles across this blog to really pursue any great ideas they have, no matter how limited their resources might seem. Whether it's writing a zine or book, opening a venue, throwing an event or show, starting a club, or creating some form of art or other media, it can be done! Gather your resources, find help from friends, and don't give up! Through hard work and a lot of DIY mentality, anything can be done.

Me and my strange virus are off to work on that documentary now. Good night, all.

SXR